i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
