You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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