As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
