I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
