did you get engaged???
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
