you guys were way drunker than both of me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
