Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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