i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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