we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
