Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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