Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
