Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My penis needs a shock collar
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
