oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
