guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
