Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
