he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
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