wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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