i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
