Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
