My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
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Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I sprained my soul last night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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