wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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