I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
