Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
