just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
