It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
