If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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