I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
