I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize