Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
