gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
