Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
