Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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