you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
