I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
