Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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