He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
