Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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