your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
