don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
