But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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