I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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