I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
