everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize