Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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