I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
