I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
