I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
