It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need to calm my uterus...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
