either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You're like the curious george of whores
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
