the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
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My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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