That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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