Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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