My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
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You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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