we're blogging at a bar
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
