i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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