if you like me you must not know who I am
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
