I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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