Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
