drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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