dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize