so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
