i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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