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its not stalking. its research.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Randomize
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