Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(575): View more from New Mexico

i permit you to call me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(575): i permit you to call me http://tfl.nu/5lhr

Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (690)
Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it. http://tfl.nu/l9cy

Replies (18) Good night (4802) Bad night (736)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning? http://tfl.nu/326j

Replies (31) Good night (945) Bad night (2369)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses" http://tfl.nu/fgtz

Replies (13) Good night (4783) Bad night (1153)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all. http://tfl.nu/filb

Replies (21) Good night (5608) Bad night (998)
Favorite
(225): View more from Louisiana

I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(225): I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/j7ur

Replies (21) Good night (1240) Bad night (7378)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax." http://tfl.nu/odgz

Replies (25) Good night (1168) Bad night (6314)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING http://tfl.nu/0fad

Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (2859)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people http://tfl.nu/xhvq

Replies (28) Good night (1586) Bad night (5497)
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name http://tfl.nu/7q8a

Replies (4) Good night (2706) Bad night (1005)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night... http://tfl.nu/bamz

Replies (9) Good night (549) Bad night (1325)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility http://tfl.nu/15q1

Replies (7) Good night (1759) Bad night (1099)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire http://tfl.nu/ff4y

Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (806)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744

Replies (0) Good night (676) Bad night (419)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better http://tfl.nu/klrf

Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (366)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard