Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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