Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.