You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
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