do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level