Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
