the condom got lost in my hair
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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