You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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