i don't like sucking hair
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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