I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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