i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you didnt know i had herpes?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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