Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
