I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
